Handicap?

Google Handicap. The first page, Wikipedia, says it “may refer to disability; a human condition.” Scroll down a bit and images for “handicap” are showing the white stick-figure in a wheelchair on a blue background that we all know so well. 

Look in the dictionary and you get several definitions. The noun is defined as “a contest in which an artificial advantage or disadvantage imposed on a contestant to equalize chances of winning or a disadvantage that makes achievement difficult.” The verb is defined as “to put at a disadvantage.” Finally, the adjective is defined as “a physical or mental disability that limits activity.”

Hrm.

Thoughts?

When Gary was first diagnosed one of the things that he read from someone else with MS was “I’m the person you see parking in the handicap spot and walking in to the store as though nothing is visibly wrong.” No limp. No cane. No brace. Nothing.

In my past life, I might have judged that person. really. I pride myself on parking far away becaues the exercise is good for me. What an insensitive brat. However, hearing this statement really helped me change my perspective – about life in general. There’s so much I don’t know about Joe or Sally but we are so quick to jump to judgement. Do you disagree?

I don’t judge people for parking in the handicap spots anymore. Actually, I’ve been pressuring Gary to apply for a pass. He’s the guy who walks in to the store without a limp, a cane, a brace. However, if he had to walk from the far end of the lot – you might see his left leg start to buckle a bit. 

Gary’s not ready for that famous blue pass that hangs off your rearview. Isn’t it terrible that it’s referred to as a handicap spot? a handicap pass? What a terrible term we’ve created. Here, park close…because you have a disability. You have a disadvantage. You don’t have an equal chance as the rest of us. And just as a friendly reminder, we’re going to make our universal sign a human being in a wheel chair. Because if you’re handicap then you MUST be pretty bad off and I mean, this is what you have to look forward to so you might as well get used to looking at it.

Ugh.

Two things here – why is a person in a wheelchair the universal sign for handicap. And WHY do we call it a handicap. I’m not jumping on the handicapable train. I’m not there. But, I feel like handicap is so derogatory. Oh – you’re handicap? Man, do i feel bad for you. 

Screw you!

And for that stick figure in a wheelchair – you have taken every level of difficulty someone who has a disability can experience and labelled it. Why did we label it. 

Gary goes back and forth about telling people about his MS. When we go out in groups he walks in the back so no one can see him limping – he doesn’t want to answer questions or see the look in your eyes when he tells you. When he gets a job – does he tell people so that when they suggest a lunch walk to keep everyone healthy he doesn’t have to come up with some bogus excuse – or is everyone going to look at him differently?

How do you see Gary now that you know he has MS? Differently than you did before? I assure you, he’s the same, stubborn, ridiculously smart, loves to politic, clumsy kid. And he will never be able to relate to the disadvantaged or “unequals” that the handicap term places on people. He will continue to resist the label, maybe even past when he should – because it’s associated with a stick figure in a wheelchair.

And that’s that